I firmly believe timing is everything. While a little cliche, it’s served me well in my 29 years.

Someone really needs to explain that cliche to the folks at the Department of Homeland Security.

The Homeland Security Department is studying whether legal immigrants seeking citizenship and other benefits should pay higher application fees.

….Applying for citizenship now costs $330. Applying for a green card conveying legal residency costs $325. Applicants also now pay a $70 fingerprinting fee in each case.

“American citizenship is priceless,” said Gonzalez, a naturalized citizen. “I think people will pay.”

The timing of this is just brilliant. While the ILLEGAL immigration debate rages on, DHS is considering a fee increase for immigrants who do it the right way - LEGALLY. They’re potentially going to penalize LEGAL immigrants while both political parties can’t get past their talking points to do something about the ILLEGAL immigration problem. Just brilliant.

It’s not just banned, it’s a felony now. The punishment? Up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

By the way, Congress is also considering a ban on online gambling. It’s HR 4777. Radley Balko’s been talking about it for months.

I’m sure I’ll be deluged with stories of people who’ve had to sell everything they own because they lost it all playing online poker, but those are the exceptions, not the rule. I don’t believe in making public policy based on a few cases when the vast majority of people can go online, play a few hands of poker, and not be adversely affected by what they’re doing. I’m also not a big believer in big government saving us from ourselves. Let me take responsibility for my own actions, thank you very much.

Morrissey, the mopey Brit rocker (note to Morrissey: mopey and morose is somewhat charming when you’re in your mid-20’s. When you’re in your late-40’s, it just makes you a whiny git) is lashing out at medical researchers in England, telling them “We’ll get you” while performing in Oxford. The university town is slated to be the home of a new facility that’s come under fire from animal rights activists throughout the country.

Perhaps he’s afraid of someone mistaking his eyebrows for a pair of mating muskrats.

You’ve heard the adage that you shouldn’t bring a knife to a gunfight?

Apparently Marines get an exemption.

Not for very long. A week and a half should do it. After all, I was always a quick reader.

I saw Glenn talking about his daughter reading one of the Henry Reed books and realized there are three books in the series that I never read growing up.

I loved Henry Reed’s Journey. I must have read that book two dozen times growing up. As a kid who didn’t get to travel much the cross-country road trip that Henry Reed got to have filled my imagination for months. And now I know there are three more books that I never got to read.

I know I could go back and read them now, but it’s not the same. These are books written for kids, and now I’m a 31-year old man. My Henry Reed days are over… unless I start reading them to Andrew.

Now there’s an idea.

Andrew and I are about to head out for Memorial Day. I was planning on taking him to the 2nd Annual Memorial Day parade, but he doesn’t do crowds that well. Instead, we’re going to go to Alexandria National Cemetary. It’s quiet and out of the way, and I always kind of feel bad that the veterans buried there don’t get as many visitors as those buried a few miles north in Arlington (like they really care, I know).

**Update**

I’m glad we went to Alexandria’s National Cemetary. We were the only ones there and Andrew had a good time learning about those who gave their lives in service to this country. He was especially interested in the graves of unknown U.S. soldiers.

Just found a very cool blog from an Okie. As long as you don’t mind the few profanities, check out Agent Bedhead.

I upgraded the blog to WordPress 2.0 last night (actually, I didn’t upgrade it, Lisa S. did. But since I paid for it I’m taking partial credit, darn it). Anyway, this should fix the spam problem. I’m still going to moderate comments, but you should be able to start leaving comments again.

Thanks for your patience.

Because I haven’t posted them in a while, and Cam’s restricted me to one Bunny post a month, I present the latest in classic Bunny re-enactments:

Rocky

and

Caddyshack

How much idiocy must there be coming out of public schools for people to say enough is enough?

Chew on this. A middle school student was suspended for three days for sharing chewing gum because it contains caffeine, school officials said.

The girl, whose age and grade were not released, gave another Huston Middle School student Jolt gum. The gum is “a stimulant that has no other redeeming quality,” said Burrell School District Superintendent Amy Palermo.

Products acting as a stimulant are prohibited and possessing them is grounds for disciplinary action, Palermo said.

The kid was suspended for sharing gum. GUM! I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.

It is not Ms. Palermo’s place to decide whether my child can have a product that ‘has no other redeeming quality’. It’s my place. I’m the parent, not her. If she wants to boss kids around and get involved in every area of their lives, she needs to pop out a couple of her own.

One day I’d like to be famous enough to have my own wikipedia entry.

NRO’s got its list of the 50 Most Conservative Rock Songs.

The first thing that struck me was the the fact that the band who recorded “Sweet Neo-Con” has more than one song on the list (”Sympathy for the Devil” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”). The second thing that struck me was that these are mainstream artists.

With all due respect to these guys, I don’t necessarily need or want a “conservative” band. In fact, I think it’s pretty cool when I buy a cd or download a few songs from iTunes and find conservative themes from a band you would expect to be liberal.

A perfect example of this is The Offspring. From the anti-violence (not necessarily anti-gun, by the way) message of “Come Out and Play” to the anti-drug song “The Kids Aren’t All Right” to the ode to personal responsibilty “Why Don’t You Get A Job”, there are lots of great themes for conservative/libertarian types.

Of course they have their own “Neo-Con” song as well. No one’s perfect I guess. Still, in my own list of “Conservative Rock Bands Who Won’t Admit They’re Conservatives”, the Offspring would be the top choice.

We’ve known Mayor Mike Bloomberg is a bit loopy for awhile now. Consider this news another piece of evidence.

The mayor said DNA and fingerprint technology could be used to create a worker ID database that will “uniquely identify the person” applying for a job, ensuring that cards are not illegally transferred or forged.

Donna Lieberman, director of the New York Civil Liberties Union, said a DNA or fingerprint database “doesn’t sound like the free society we think we’re living in.”

“It will inevitably be used not just by employers but by law enforcement, government agencies, schools and all over the private sector,” she said.

It’s not all that often I agree with the ACLU, but they’re pretty spot on with this one. Mayor Bloomberg… you’re a mayor. You’re not the Lord High Mighty of Bloombergia and we’re not your loyal subjects.

Can this guy please just go ahead and change his party affiliation?

…because this is going to cost you.

Taxpayers owe more than a half-million dollars per household for financial promises made by government, mostly to cover the cost of retirement benefits for baby boomers, a USA Today analysis shows.

Federal, state and local governments have added nearly $10 trillion to taxpayer liabilities in the past two years, bringing the total of government’s unfunded obligations to an unprecedented $57.8 trillion.

That is the equivalent of a $510,678 credit card debt for every American household. Payments on this delinquent tax bill must start soon if financial promises to the elderly are to be kept.

As the obligations remain unfunded, they grow. And since both political parties have done nothing but complain about each other when it comes to fixing Social Security, and the GOP controlled Congress is spending and making promises like drunken sailors home on leave, expect your share of benefits owed to skyrocket.

Pardon me for being a bit skeptical about the claim that we’ll see a giant tsunami hit the Atlantic today.

And boy, won’t I have egg on my face if the former Space Camp instructor who’s predicting this is right.

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Buried in this this short story on bouncers and guns, NY Mayor Mike Bloomberg makes a pretty startling statement.

Mayor Bloomberg said the violence is linked to the scourge of illegal guns in the city. “There’s only one reason to carry a gun on the streets of a big city, and that’s to use it,” he said.

So let’s see. I’m assuming the mayor is going to revoke the concealed carry permits of Donald Trump, Howard Stern, Robert DeNiro, and other celebrities? After that, of course, he’ll take away the guns from NYPD officers, right?

Gimme a break, Mr. Mayor. First off, quit using the term “illegal gun”. What you mean (at least what I think you mean) is “a person illegally posessing a firearm”. By refusing to acknowledge that there are people to deal with, not inanimate objects, you make it all the more difficult to truly make the streets of New York safer.

You might also work to make sure your crime statistics aren’t being cooked, as several officer organizations allege. Nobody’s served (except you, of course) by believing the city’s safer than it is.

Oh yeah, while you’re visiting the Daily News site, be sure to read Mike Daly’s latest. Here’s my question for Daly: if straw purchases are already illegal in all 50 states, if illegally posessing a firearm is already a crime in all 50 states, if murder is already a crime in all 50 states, what federal law is a criminal suddenly going to obey?

The Christian Science Monitor has an op-ed piece today suggesting that Democrats should try appealing to married suburban voters. Michael Harrington makes some excellent points in support of this suggestion - but the whole piece left me wondering what exactly do Democrats have to offer married suburban voters?

I’m not asking this in a snarky sarcastic manner, like I usually do. No really, I’m not. I’m asking with sincerity. As a Domestic Diva banished to suburbia, I want to know what Democrats have to offer me. I’m not too pleased with the GOP at the present time, and if a Democrat has interesting ideas I may be inclined to vote for one. I’ve already publically stated I plan to do so in the fall.

So what do Democrats have to offer me? I wandered over to their website and it’s just a bunch of talking points and ‘Bush is wrong’ gobbledegook. I’m disappointed. I want more than that - I know there’s a plan, give me the details so I can decide if it’s something I can support. Tell me why the Bush plan is wrong. Point out it’s flaws, tell me what you’d do differently.

This election season is starting to heat up. For this Domestic Diva, all options are on the table. I’m not ruling out a candidate simply because there’s a (D) after their name. So Democrats pay attention - this is the perfect opportunity to appeal to The Marrieds. Give me something I can support, and I will. Give me more than ‘I have a plan’. Keep talking in bullet points and ‘everything Bush does is wrong’ rhetoric and I’ll hold my nose and vote (R) in the fall.

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What on earth is up with this story?

Pat Robertson worked out at the gym on an incline leg press machine with weights up to 570 pounds. Working with his physician, who was an amazing strength trainer, he worked up to 800 pounds, then 1,000 pounds. Then one day he was able to leg press 1,500 pounds one time. Then over the succeeding months, he trained with multiple reps of 1,200 pounds, 1,300 pounds, and 1,400 pounds.

One Saturday morning, his physician said, “I’ll get you bragging rights. Let’s go to 2,000 pounds.” Then he worked up multiple reps of 1,400 pounds, 1,500 pounds, 1,600 pounds, 1,700, pounds, 1,800 pounds and 1,900 pounds. When 2,000 pounds was put on the machine two men got on either side and helped push the load up, and then let it down on Mr. Robertson, who pushed it up one rep and let it go back down again.

Help me out with a few things here. First, why on earth do I care about Pat Robertson’s workout routine? Secondly, shouldn’t Pat Robertson be giving thanks to God, rather than his personal trainer? And thirdly, I call b.s..

I’m such a lazy slob that I wouldn’t be surprised if Pat Robertson could leg press more than I can. But 2,000 pounds? Not on your life.

Since crime in Chicago is non-existent, some politicians have come up with busy work for police.

They’ve introduced legislation prohibiting dogs from barking for more than ten minutes straight.

“If they continue to bark and it’s been 10 minutes, police will be called in and … give them a fine — from $50 to $250 … It just sends a message that people who have dogs have to be responsible and take care of them.”

I just love big government, don’t you? I mean, rather than talking to my neighbor about the incessant yapping, I can now just call the police and let the government take care of the problem for me!

Somehow I’ve been infected with a virus on this website. It’s a Trojan that goes by the name ie0601e[1].wmf. I’ve alerted tech support and hopefully it will soon be removed. Until then, if you’re coming here update your virus protection software.

Thanks.

Looks like the virus has been wiped. Thanks to the good folks at Wiredhub. If you ever get a virus warning, please send me an email so I can take care of this right away. Thanks to Danno to alerting me about this one.

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Peter Beinart’s new book: The Good Fight : Why Liberals—and Only Liberals—Can Win the War on Terror and Make America Great Again, seems to be deeply flawed.

I mean, look at the numbers Jim has posted.

50% of Democrats say “dismantling the al Qaeda network” is a top priority for them. More Dems want to pull out of Iraq and stop the global spread of AIDS.

41% of Democrats don’t support or don’t know if they support the toppling of the Taliban in Afghanistan.

Only 57.3% of Democrats answered “yes” when asked if they’d support military action to destroy a terrorist training camp.

Seems to me like Beinart’s got a tough job of convincing liberals to want to fight the War on Terror, much less convince folks like me that they can do a better job.

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Joe Goodwin posts some bad news for Wal-Mart, but as usual there’s more to the story.

Apparently the email sent by a Wal-Mart representative threatening to use eminent domain to grab some property wasn’t authorized by Wal-Mart, and they’ve since apologized.

Meanwhile, the town of Hercules, California has decided to use eminent domain to stop Wal-Mart from building a store in the town.

I knew the Kelo decision allows municipalities to seize private property in the name of anticipated higher tax revenue than what the property is currently bringing in. I didn’t realize it allowed municipalities to seize private property to stop tax revenue from coming in. Seems like that’s cutting off your nose to spite your face.

A candidate in Missouri who’s touting his “family values” credentials is $7,000 behind on his child support payments.

The politician is Talibdin El-Amin, currently a ward committeeman in the City of St. Louis, but is running for the Missouri House of Representatives in the 57th District.

His wife, Yaphett El-Amin, currently holds that spot, but hopes to move up to a Missouri Senate seat, and he hopes to fill her old job.

His campaign signs are all over the district. While mentioning his fatherhood, and his home ownership, there’s no mention of his two children to whom he owes child support.

Hmmm… I wonder what party El-Amin belongs to. The story doesn’t say.

He’s married to a Democrat. Strangely, I can’t find an official campaign website for him.

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Yet another example of government trying to replace parents when it comes to raising kids:

High school students are going to be held accountable for what they post on blogs and on social-networking Web sites such as MySpace.com.

The board of Community High School District 128 voted unanimously on Monday to require that all students participating in extracurricular activities sign a pledge agreeing that evidence of “illegal or inappropriate” behavior posted on the Internet could be grounds for disciplinary action.

Inappropriate behavior according to whom? To knuckleheaded school administrators? You know, those brainiacs who suspend kids for carrying advil and accidentally leaving butter knives in their cars. I’m sorry but these people can’t use judgement in those instances, why should I trust they’ll use good judgement when it comes to determining what is ‘inappropriate’ behavior.

And while MySpace and blogs are public, I have a huge problem with school administrators ‘monitoring’ these sites. It smacks of ‘Big Brother’. It’s one thing if parents want to monitor their kids blogs, that’s they’re job as parents. Parents are responsible for the actions of their minor children. But educators aren’t. There’s no reason for them to monitor these journals. It’s none of their business.