More on the CrunchyCons

Once again, the Crunchy Cons are driving me crazy with their statements. It’s not Cap’n Crunch today, it’s one of his Crunchy Compatriots. Caleb Stegall says:

conservative leaders and spokesmen ought to be saying loud and often that with a few exceptions, anyone who would place an infant in daycare is a negligent parent and a negligent citizen. A few will, but most won’t for fear of offending too many constituents and of all the Jim Geraghty’s of the world calling them a killjoy.

This line of thinking just befuddles me. The CrunchyCons are trying to win friends and influence people to their way of thinking, right? And they think the best way to do that is to inform a mother who works that she is being a negligent parent?

The other problem with this argument is its loophole. I could inform Caleb about my wife putting herself through college while raising a young child, and having to put that child in daycare, but he’d just let himself off the hook with a “ah, I said in most cases it’s negligence” response. By not detailing in what circumstances he views this to be acceptable, he gives himself an out to any criticism someone might come up with.

Again, keep in mind that in the CrunchyCon world, “choice” and “freedom” are bad things. So in the CrunchyCon world, it would be up to the CrunchyCons to decide when women get to work outside the home, and when they stay at home to raise the kids.

What’s funny is I’ve seen it both ways. Andrew was in daycare from the time he was three months old. But Elaine has stayed home with the twins since they were born. As far as I can tell, Andrew’s turned out pretty darn well. So has Mallory, who’s getting straight “A”’s in college after a) going to daycare and b) going to public school.

I’ve probably devoted more time and energy to the CrunchyCon argument than it deserves. It is, after all, not a serious political philosophy. Rod Dreher even says so, calling it instead a “sensibility”. I’m pretty sure that means this is meant as advice to live by. Which is fine and all, until you get back to their idea that “freedom” and “choice” are bad things, and that we should all live as they live. Even Dear Abby doesn’t go that far.

**Update**

Now Caleb insinuates conservatives aren’t really conservative if they won’t declare “with a few exceptions, anyone who would place an infant in daycare is a negligent parent and a negligent citizen”.

See the strawman in this argument? Caleb says if you won’t stand up and say this, you’re not a conservative. But why is he the arbiter of conservatism?

Again, Caleb gives himself the out of “with a few exceptions”… which is really amusing, since I know any argument I (or Jim) would make would only be met with “well, see, that’s one of the exceptions I was talking about”.

So I won’t say what Caleb wants us to say. I won’t say putting your kid in daycare makes you a negligent parent. Because I don’t think it’s true. My daughter Mallory was in daycare while my wife went to college. She’s now an honors student in college. My son Andrew went to daycare. He had mastered the benchmarks for kindergarten four months into the school year.

Negligent parents leave their children in soiled diapers for days while they take off to Vegas. Negligent parents don’t monitor what their children are doing online, or what shows they’re watching or what music they’re listening to. Negligent parents can be found in a Kansas farmhouse as easily as they can be found in a corporate office.

Caleb also says:

Any intrusion into or critique of real life decisions people make is out of bounds as a matter of course. It used to be that taking conservatism seriously required talking and thinking about these things. But liberal-conservatives want “family” and “loyalty” and “duty” to be pious puffs of smoke. Good for a few votes in flyover country and then quick! hoist up the no-social-judgment zone around their “private lives.” Can’t you hear the echoes of the gay rights and abortion lobbies in Geraghty’s remarks.

I’m sorry, but I call shenanigans (an evil “South Park” reference) on this. “Liberal-conservatives”? You mean “conservatives who don’t agree with me”. Well, that’d be me. And I don’t see family, loyalty, and duty to be pious puffs of smoke. In fact, that’s part of the reason I’m so annoyed by this whole argument. My loyalty to my family, my wife, my children all demand that I stand up and shout down this ignorant claptrap about “negligent parents are the ones who send their children to daycare”. As for the “no-social-judgement zone”… there’s a difference between saying “well, I wouldn’t raise my kids that way” and “YOU ARE A BAD PARENT FOR SENDING YOUR CHILD TO DAYCARE!!!” It’s all in the tone. This holier-than-thou business (and yes, I do mean that literally) that the CrunchyCons have adopted will earn them no converts. I guess I’m not in the business of telling other people how to live their lives because I don’t know everything there is to know about parenting, and something tells me Caleb doesn’t either.

My kids have both gone to daycare, and been raised by a stay-at-home mom. Neither one made my wife or me negligent parents. I’m proud of the way my wife raised the two oldest kids before I was around, and I’m proud of the way we’re bringing up the youngest three. If that means I’m not conservative in Caleb’s eyes, so be it. Because he’s damn sure not one in mine.